Is this pillau rice?

Or is this just tandoori?

Bought a lamb bhuna

With a side dish of cheesy peas¹

 

Brace for the fire

Raise fork to your mouth

And feed...

 

I'm just a poor boy

I need a cup of tea

Coz my...

 

...mouth's on fire, mouth's gone numb

Feel it burning through my bum

 

Anyway, my wind blows...

...poisoning and gassing

meeeee...

Poor me :(

 

Mamma, just ate a naan

Poppadoms I've tried instead

With lime pickle (that I dread)

 

Mamma, dinner's just begun

Perhaps I should have tried a mild Sathay

 

Masaala, ow-ow-ow-ow

 

Those spices make me cry

I think I'll have The Ring Of Fire

Tomorrow

Curry on, Curry on

'coz nothing really madras

 

Too late, my dinner's gone

I washed it down with wine

Rectum stinging all the time

 

Goodbye every bhaji

I've got to go

Gotta leave you all behind and face the loo

 

Korma, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

I think I'm gonna die

I sometimes wish I never ate this at all

 

I see a little chicken tikka on the side

Rogan Josh, Rogan Josh

Pass the chutney made of mango.

 

Vindaloo does nicely

Very very spicy

MEAT!

 

Biryani

(Biryani)

Biryani

(Biryani)

Biryani

(Biryani)

Sag aloo!

 

(Aloo go-go-go-gobi)

 

I've eaten balti, somebody help me

 

He's eaten balti, get him to the lavatory

Stand you well back

for this loo is quarantined

 

From my bum, 'gravy' flows

Pebbledash the bowl

 

I chunder...

Nooooo!

It's coming from both ends !

('gravy' flows)

I chunder

 It's coming from both ends!

('gravy' flows) 

I chunder

 It's coming from both ends!

coming from both ends!

coming from both ends!

 

No no no no no no no no No!

 

Oh Ring of fire! Ring of fire!

Ring of fire needs anusol

 

The Rice & Spice

Has forever wrecked my guts

For me

For me

Poor meeeeeeeeee!

 

Now I know I can eat Chilli Phall and not die!

But the gas from my bot fills the bedroom all night

Oh headache!

The stench gives me a headache...

Just got to get out..

Just get to come right out of here...

 

I feel the sting of madras

Every time I pee

And nothing stops the splatters

Nothing stops the splatters

From me

(Still it makes my wind blow.)