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Origin & Inspiration

29 Aug 2012

 

I got a message asking where was I on Saturday, as I was missed. However, they forgot to actually invite me in the first place! Then again, the same thing happened on Bank Holiday Monday (except I hadn't even been asked if I was free that day)! Hard to turn up to some soirée when you are unaware you're expected at a soireé! 

Actually, to be fair, they did ask me if I was free that Sat, and would be in touch with the details. Could I have texted them... well, no, because (a) I forgot, and (b) there was probably some other reason I couldn't text or get hold of them.

 

Hide away from the raging mob

"Oh Xym, Oh Xym, Oh come out, do!"

Very well, my dear, I shall do too!

Just state your plans and the venue!

"We'll let you know/get back to you!"

 

"Oh Xym, Oh Xym, Oh where was thee?

We missed you out on Saturdee!"

Why, I was lain on the settee

forlornly awaiting txts from thee

 

All spruced up and out the tub

With no word of pub nor club

Just a txt to say "You're dumped!"

And I ain't pulled, so now I'm stumped!

 

So I assume The Xym's not wanted

For locations hath not been imparted

No Xym to get the Party started

And leave his Pretties broken-hearted¹?

 

"Oh Xym, Oh Xym, where was thee Mon²?

We know you must weigh half a ton

But surely you could waddle on

down to t'pub where Fest is on?"

 

What be this fest of what thou speak?

For mine psychic powers e'en at their peak

cannot delve into thine mind and peek

at this fest of which thou speak!

 

"The one just down the road from you

We just forgot to invite you...

Because, of course, we thought you knew!

And that's the tale we're sticking to!"

 

Seems everyone was there but me³

Partaking of a pint or three

Happy that they're finally free

of that bastard Xym-on-ee!

 

So wonder not "Oh where is Xym?"

and think him all unwelcomin'

because you did not invite him in

and therefore he was totally unaware of it until people started banging on about why he was being such an unsociable miserable sod for not turning up at things he was expected to be at, despite not being given any details. Or being invited. Or even made aware that he should be at the aforementioned Eventage. Or that there was even Eventage on in the first place.

 

¹ WELL, LESS BROKEN-HEARTED AND MORE IN A CELEBRATORY FIESTA AT THE LACK OF THE LECHEROUS LARDARSE LEERING AT LADIES AND GENERALLY POLLUTING THE ATMOS WITH HIS PRESENCE.

 

² MONDAY. NOT MON AS IN RASTA, YEAH'MON.

 

³ APART FROM THEM WHAT WEREN'T!

 

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